In fact, Denial had me so convinced, that I saw right past the stretched out shirt collars, the constant tugging at the hard, stiff denim jeans and the non-stop pulling of the low cut socks that would never reach his knees no matter how hard Ryan pulled. The irony was, Ryan was more beautiful in his unstylish fleece pants, his collar-less 100% cotton tshirts and his high white socks, happily scripting away while playing his latest video game because he was no longer wearing the clown makeup, hiding who he really was underneath, just so others would see their version of beautiful. It's a shame it took this beholder so long to finally see Ryan's beauty.
Now that I can see Ryan's beauty, I am dumbfounded that others can't.
I see the beauty in a smart, funny, little boy transforming into a handsome young man.
I see the beauty in a boy's ability to memorize and mimic everything from the microwave beep to Jim Carey's version of The Grinch.
I see the beauty in Ryan's unique and often hilarious way of interpreting our strange and crazy world.
I see the beauty in a boy whose confidence in his musical ability makes him stand apart from his athletic brother and sister.
I see the beauty in a boy who may struggle socially, but, has found happiness in the absence of being a part of "the crowd".
I see the beauty in a boy who has given me the gift of seeing the world through a very different lens and his willingness to share that world with me, even when I didn't deserve it.
I see the beauty in a boy who has loved his mother through her own phobias, fears, and poor choice of "friends", while still forgiving that mother for the times she was once blind to his unique beauty.