​This was the toddler who could not wear hats or mittens and who struggled with the change of seasons because that meant wearing different or new clothes. The little boy who wore the same doctor's costume (shirt only) for three Halloween's in a row because costumes and change were terrifying.
 
This was the elementary student who sat alone at lunch and stood by the door at recess afraid of thunderstorms, bugs and the possibility of an ill-fated social encounter.
 
This was the middle schooler who almost didn't audition for Chambers Singers because it was new and taking risks was too much for him to handle. The middle schooler who couldn't wear cargo shorts and khaki pants like all the other kids because his body just wouldn't allow it.
 
This was a new high school freshman who felt like he was invisible and that no one knew he existed within the walls of his high school. The freshman who believed he had no future because he is autistic.
 
This is a teenager who still worries about taking risks (because sometimes things don't go as you plan), but, overcame that worry and took a risk by auditioning for his high school musical where he has never danced a step in his life. A teenager who once felt like he didn't belong yet now declares his fellow cast members "family". A teenager who told his directors and his parents that he has "never felt so confident and proud of himself in his entire life" as he did tonight on that stage taking risks.
 
This is my autistic son. Crushing stereotypes, destroying fallacies, proving "experts" wrong and showing every single person on that stage and in that audience the real meaning behind, "different, not less". The most important person he proved that to, was himself.
 
The lady clinging to this teenager is his mother. A mother who felt her face would crack from smiling every time he walked onto that stage. A mother who remembers the toddler that struggled with change, the little boy who was so worried and anxious, the middle schooler who wanted to find his place, and the new freshman who felt so isolated and hopeless. A mother who now sees a teenager demonstrating confidence, pride and joy in a way the two of them once only dreamed about, by taking a risk, by stepping way outside his comfort zone and by believing in himself.

​Good things come to those who wait. We have been waiting for a long time. Some of us, much longer than others. But we waited. We advocated. We raised awareness. We knew what others didn’t. And now our patience has paid off.
 
Julia is here.
 
Julia, a muppet with autism, has found her way to Sesame Street and she is gonna chase the clouds away for many young children with autism. I am so incredibly grateful that Sesame Street has brought Julia to life, but, selfishly, I wish Julia would have come about a decade sooner. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that FINALLY autism has become so mainstream that adults, kids and now muppets with autism are showing up on your television screen, on the big screen and on Sesame Street, I just wish for my son and the kids who came before him, Julia would have come sooner.
 
Julia is going to do amazing things for young children with autism. A-mazing things. Kids are going to be more aware, more accepting and hopefully, more kind. The end result will be more, not less. And for many years, autism was perceived as "less" and I think that is why ten years ago, we weren’t ready for more…or for Julia. Ten years ago, differences of any kind, weren’t as accepted as they are today.
 
Sure people with autism and their families have been waiting for Julia and for the world to see what they have always known, that people with autism are more like “us” than they are different. Autistic individuals may process information differently than most of us, they may not communicate in the same way and their behaviors may be different, but, in the end they want to be loved and accepted just like all of “us” and just like every muppet on Sesame Street.
 
Had Julia come when Ryan was younger, he might be more willing to take risks socially now that he is in high school because the children in his preschool and elementary school watching Sesame Street would be aware that different did not mean less. They would understand that when Ryan didn’t respond to his name right away it didn’t mean he wasn’t listening or he didn’t care what they had to say, it just meant he needed more time to respond.
 
Those kids would have grown up understanding the reason Ryan had to be taken out of class before the fire drills was not because he was “weird”, but, because the noise was too much for his body to handle. Julia would have helped Ryan’s classmates understand his sensitivity to noises, his fabulous way of communicating through scripts and his desire to be included and accepted in the classroom, on the playground and in the cafeteria regardless of his limited eye contact when his friends approached him.
 
If Julia would have taught Ryan’s classmates HOW to interact with a classmate with autism, all of the burden of RYAN knowing how to interact with THEM wouldn’t have fallen on his tiny 5 year old shoulders. Ten years of awareness and acceptance would have made a big difference. Ryan’s classmates would have had ten years to understand autism, to understand him and to accept him, just the way he is. Oh Julia, I love that you showed up, I just really wish it would have been sooner.
 
Now that Ryan is in HS he struggles to interact socially and because he is “not much of a risk taker”, he doesn’t make many efforts to try. And because there were no muppets on Sesame Street with autism for the past ten years, his classmates don’t have a clue how to interact with him. This lack of awareness and education leads to isolation, it leads to depression, it leads to accepting that being alone is better than risking a social catastrophe.
 
If Julia would have showed up on Sesame Street ten years ago, Ryan might not feel so ashamed of the word "Autism", because kids would have been taught autism may be different, but it is not less and he would believe that too.
 
Julia could have really made a difference for Ryan. I hope that for the parents just hearing the words, “Your child has autism” they realize that there is a tiny yellow character with orange hair living on Sesame Street who is going to help them and their child pave the way to awareness and acceptance. She has arrived just in time for your child and his friends.
 
Thank you Sesame Street. I know that maybe the time wasn’t right ten years ago and maybe “we” weren’t ready for a little girl who flapped her hands when she got excited or had meltdowns when a siren went zipping past Sesame Street, but, we are ready now. Thank you for giving her to all of us. We really, really need her.

Uncover your ears. Seriously, take your hands off your ears. Now. You HAVE to listen. You HAVE to hear this. Your child's future literally depends on you listening.

I know you don't want to hear it. I know you are scared. I know you are hoping that all your suspicions, all your late night Google searches were wrong. But you are his parent and in your heart you have known for sometime you would hear this word.

Maybe it's been weeks, months or years, but, you knew deep in your heart this moment would come, so now it's time to for your brain to hear what your heart has known. Take a deep breath, picture your beautiful child, the child you would move mountains for, and listen.

​The time is now.

"Your child has Autism."

There it was. That kick to the gut you have been waiting for. The developmental pediatrician, the psychologist, someone finally, actually said it, and it wasn’t Dr. Google or your neighbor or a teacher or the check out lady at Target, it was someone whose job it is to say this word. Autism. "The A Word". The A Word that has kept you up for endless nights obsessing, "What if?".
 
And just when the air finally escapes your lungs, the air you didn’t even know you were holding in, another word you didn’t even see coming feels like an uppercut to the chin, Alone. And that’s when the tears begin.

I get it. I feel you. I have covered my ears too.
 
It's hard to hear "The A Word". It's scary. It's unknown. It's new. But you have to listen. I know you want to slip off into La La Land with Ryan Reynolds, but you can't. You have to be present and feel all the emotions "The A Word" brings, so you and your child can move forward. That’s why you are there, remember? You came to get answers to help your child. And now you have the answer. It might not have been what you wanted to hear, but, the word is out and now it’s time to move on to other words that begin with "A". And when you do Autism won’t make you feel so Alone.

Answer. Now that you have the Answer to what, you can ask the question how.

Acceptance. Acceptance will come in time. While you wait for it, remember, your child is waiting for you.

Awareness. Acceptance can’t come without Awareness. Your child will guide you, but, reach out to other parents, support groups and specialists who will help you and other people in your child's life become more Aware.

Access. Without "The A Word", Access to support, resources and help can’t come. The label may be scary, but, it is the doorway to your child's future.

AWE. What you will feel day in and day out as you begin to understand your child.

April. The one month of the year, where Autistic Individuals are celebrated, Awareness is spread and Acceptance is encouraged.

Able. A time will come when you will stop seeing all the things your child can’t do and see all that he is Able to do. Start looking now.

Above. Your child will go Above and beyond what you are fearing right now in that doctor's office chair.

Achieve. Your child will Achieve, in his time, in his way so try not to compare him to your friends' kids.

Admiration. With each and every progress, no matter how big or small, the Admiration you feel for your child will be unlike any other feeling you have ever experienced.

Aggravation. Yes, there will be moments of Aggravation, as there are for any parent. Do not beat yourself up for it, reach out to someone who gets it so you remember you are not Alone.

Amaze. The way your child sees and interprets the world will Amaze you, as long as you let them show you.

Always. You will Always love them. Autism doesn’t change that.

Anguish. There will be moments of Anguish. It’s called parenting.

Appreciate. You will learn to Appreciate the differences your child may have, some days more so than others.

Advocate. Both a verb and a noun. What you will DO and the the TITLE you now hold. Wear the title proudly because no one will Advocate more for your child than you. 

There are so many more words that begin with A, and every other letter of the alphabet, to describe this Autism journey, but, you won't ever know them until you uncover your ears and listen.
 
So, take your hands off your ears, become Aware, Accept that he is “different, not less” and Appreciate any progress, big or small. 

Now that you have uncovered your ears, now that you have heard "The A Word", it’s time to get up and go. Stand up, shake the doctor’s hand, scoop your child up into your arms and go. You are not Alone. You have the Answer and in time you will Accept it, but, even in the most Apprehensive moments that fill you with Anguish, you must Affirm your love for your child because you are now both his parent and his Advocate and he will Always look to you first for Approval to be exactly who he is meant to be. 

Go give it to him now.