All content on this website is copyrighted and may not be shared or copied without the author's permission
The AWEnesty of Autism
  • Blog
  • Contact Me
  • About Us
  • AWEnest Advocacy

My Wish(es) For You This Mother's Day

5/10/2018

1 Comment

 
It's been almost 13 years since we first heard the word "autism". My son has come so far since then, and so have I. I remember all those years ago, the guilt, the worry, and the ignorance, I remember it well. It took me some time, ok fine, a lot of time, to get from there to here, here, where I am today. I am so thankful to my son who grabbed my hand and helped move both of us forward.

So this blog is for all you mothers who have just arrived to this new world of autism. One day you too will be "here", but, while you still linger "there" these are my wishes for you this Mother's Day;

1. A day filled with love, even if that love looks different than you expected.

2. A day without racing thoughts of how, when and why.

3. A day without scheduled appointments, routines and researching what to do next.

4. A day to enjoy what is and not worry so much about what will be.

5. A day absent of comparisons. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Teddy was spot on, so today, no comparisons, just joy.

6. A day without guilt and should haves, could haves, would haves. Guilt is Comparison's accomplice when it comes to stealing joy. Lock them up today.

7. A day for you to see your child like you did before you heard "autism". That child is still the same, that child is still there, so look. Look now.

8. A day filled with the wonder of seeing the world through your child’s eyes in a way you never have before. It can be a heartbreakingly, funny, difficult, awesome and beautiful world, but, it is now up to you to enter it. Walk through that door with your child today. They are waiting for you.

9. A day to appreciate and embrace neurodiversity. Imagine how boring the world would be without it?!

10. A day to be grateful for your support system of family, friends and other moms on this similar journey. You will need all of them (and wine), let them in.
 
Oh, and one last thing on Mother’s Day, and every day, as you travel this new journey with so many mothers who have come before you, I wish for you the gift of acceptance. I truly believe the best way to receive this gift, is to get to know autistic individuals, no one can offer you or your child more insight then they can. Remember, without accepting what is, you and your child will never get to what, and most importantly, who they will be.
 
And finally, my last wish for you is that no matter the day, you never, ever give up hope.
 
Happy Mother’s Day!

Picture
Grateful on Mother's Day, and everyday, to be their mom.
1 Comment

"Hey Mom, Look!"

5/7/2015

1 Comment

 
Picture
It's Mother's Day this weekend. Hooray!! It is a day off, a day of respite, a day of nothing, but, MomMe! Am I right? Of course not!!
 
Okay, fine, chances are you may get a little pampering by not having to get dinner, fold the laundry or scrub the toilets, but, regardless of your plans and the degree of pampering you may or may not receive, Mother's Day is the one day of the year we actually get noticed. It is the one day that our kids actually pay attention to us because the calendar, the television and social media say they should. It is the one day the kids remember, I mean really remember, who we are, what we do, and why they are so freaking lucky to have us, and that is why, on this treasured day we will most likely hear, "Hey Mom, look..." at least 175 times.

Picture
If I had a dollar, no wait, a nickel, for every time I heard, "Hey Mom, look", I would be sipping my Mother's Day wine through a beautiful crystal wineglass from Tiffany's instead of a cheap, stemless wine glass from Target. And if I had a nickel for how many times I smiled through gritted teeth and slightly snarled, "just a minute" while draining the boiling hot pasta, scrubbing the toilets with bleach or wiping my...well, you know, I would be drinking that wine on a yacht somewhere on the Cote d'Azur.

Kids love to show us...everything. High how they can jump, how fast they can run, and how big they can poo. Yep, sorry, even THAT. And sure, when we are in the middle of bleach, boiling water or bathroom hygiene, and when we have "looked" exactly 47 times already that day, the words, "Hey Mom, look" sort of gets jumbled somewhere between our ears and and our brain and all we hear is the voice inside our heard going, "OMG! Can I get anything done?!". 

I admit it, I'm guilty of not always looking, at least not in that moment, not right away, not until after I flush. I use to hear, "Hey Mom look" from Kyle when he would throw a ball, kick a ball, bounce a ball, or catch a ball. Now, as a 17 year old, I only hear "Hey Mom, look" when he pauses the DVR to show me something inappropriate and crude that Peter Griffith does on Family Guy. Sigh. Now, Emma, is a very different story, she is a show-er of all things (yes even the poo). Emma easily still utters, "Hey Mom, look" at least 75 times a day, and although I try to look all 75 times, I'd be lying if said I don't occasionally pretend to "see" and then mumble, "that's great honey", when she might actually be playing with fire.

Picture
There is, however, an exception, a time when I will put down the bleach, risk burning my hand in hot water and forego a little bathroom hygiene (just temporarily) when I hear the words, "Hey Mom, look" when it comes in a very mumbled, unsure, monotone voice. More often than not, the words "Hey Mom, look" are translated into a more adultish sounding phrase like, "Mother, I have something I would appreciate sharing with you". When I hear those words, from that mouth, even though it's not fair, it's not just, it's not equal, I have to be AWEnest, I run up the steps fearing the moment will pass before I "see". 

Why you may wonder does Ryan's "Mother I have something I would appreciate sharing with you" have more weight than, "Hey Mom, look"? Because I can count on one hand the number of times I have heard them. These words, or anything even slightly resembling them, are not even uttered on the coveted, we remember how great mom is MomMe Day.

Picture
I still run and I still look because I waited so long to see. In those early days, when I was worrying, obsessing and Googling The A Word, one of the red flags that would slap me upside the head was "lack of showing". Yep, I would see that red flag, shut off the computer and get out one of my cheap, stemless Target wine glasses and share a bottle of red with my old friend Denial. 

Ryan never showed. He never shared. He never uttered the words, "Hey Mom, look". Unless I prompted. Unless I begged. Unless I said, "Hey Ryan, look". And after downing a glass (or two or three) of wine, I swore then and there, if the words ever came, if ever heard them, I would never fail to look. I waited, bribed and begged for so long, how could I not look. And although I occasionally hear the words, or some derivative of them, there is still a long gap between the words' visits. 

Whether it's the latest mod he downloaded on Minecraft or some crazy dog on YouTube, when Ryan does show, in his way, in his own time, I forego basic kitchen safety and bathroom hygiene because it doesn't matter what he has to share, what he wants me to see, what matters is, he wants me to look. I am typically dismissed quickly after I look with a "What are you still doing here?" or an "Okay, I'd like my privacy now", but, even if it's just a quick glance, he showed, and I'm so grateful I got to see.

So, yeah, it may not be right, it may not be fair, but, on this Mother's Day, when my kids really pay attention to me, when Kyle or Emma yells, "Hey Mom, look", for the 150th time, chances are I will look (most of the time), but, if Ryan happens to utter those coveted "Mother, I have something I would appreciate sharing with you" words not only will I look, but, I will see. I will see that although that "lack of showing" red flag still waves in the breeze, occasionally that red flag is lowered so I must run quickly before it is raised again. 

I know that what Kyle and Emma want me to see is equally important, so I do look (as long as I'm not wiping my...well, you know), but, it's kind of like drinking wine from a Tiffany Crystal wine glass versus a Target, stemless wine glass. The wine is still wet, the wine is still chilled , and the wine still makes me feel warm inside, yet, somehow, drinking out of glass that is so rare, so exquisite, just makes the wine taste a little bit sweeter.

Happy Mother's Day! Enjoy your MomMe Day, but, don't forget to look, who knows what you might see.

Picture
Mother's Day Selfie 2014!! He risked the bugs and the heat for MomMe!
1 Comment
    The Mighty Contributor

       Author

    Picture
    Keeping it real, raw, and AWEnest while laughing, loving and living in our world 
    touched by Autism.
    If you would like to subscribe to this blog ...

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Definition of Awe:
    "a mixed emotion of
    reverence, respect, dread and wonder inspired by authority, genius, great
    beauty, sublimity or might." Yep, someone should have consulted a mom 
    before
    spelling AWEtism.

    Archives

    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Categories

    All
    A Blink Of An Eye
    Acceptance
    Advocates
    Aestivation
    Alone
    ASD
    ASD
    ASD And Disney
    ASD Empathy
    Asd Love
    Atypical
    Austin Powers
    Autism
    Autism Acceptance
    Autism Adults
    Autism And Alone
    Autism And Disney
    Autism And Emotions
    Autism And Fevers
    Autism And Field Trips
    Autism And Friends
    Autism And Homework
    Autism And Hope
    Autism And Lonely
    Autism And Media
    Autism And Police Interaction
    Autism Awareness
    Autism Awareness 2016
    Autism Brothers
    Autism Emotions
    Autism Empathy
    Autism Feelings
    Autism Friends
    Autism Idioms
    Autism Journey
    Autism Lessons
    Autism Love
    Autism Meltdown
    Autism Moms
    Autism Routine
    Autism Routines
    Autism Self Advocacy
    Autism Self-Awareness
    Autism Siblings
    Autism Speaks
    Autism Spectrum Disorders
    Autism Swimming
    Autism Tour Guide
    Autistic Enough
    Awe Inspiring
    Awe-inspiring
    Back To School
    Baseball
    Beach
    Beauty
    Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
    Big
    Black And White Thinking
    Brady Bunch
    Bravery
    Breaking Bad
    Bridge Over Troubled Water
    Bugs
    Bullying
    Champion
    Change
    Change Of Heart
    Changes
    Chatty Cathy Doll
    Childhood
    Christmas
    Clothes And Autism
    Clueless
    College
    Communicating
    Communication Skills
    Comparing Disabilities
    Confidence
    Conscious Uncoupling
    Creepers
    Criticsm
    Day Of Pampering
    Death And Dying
    Denial
    Diet
    Differences
    Different
    Different Not Less
    Disability
    Disney World
    Donkey
    Donuts
    Dr. Seuss
    Early Bird Gets The Worm
    Eddie Murphy
    Ed Sheeran
    Educators
    Emily Dickinson
    Emoji
    Estivation
    Facebook
    Facial Cues
    Fear Of Santa
    Fears
    Fifty Shades Of Grey
    First
    Flags Of Autism
    Friends
    Gifts
    Groundhog Day
    Growing Up
    Guest Blogger
    Hades
    Halloween
    Happy
    He Is There
    Helicoptoring
    He Loves Me
    He Loves Me Not
    History Of Autism
    Holidays And Autism
    Homecoming
    Homework
    Honesty
    Hope
    Hovering
    Hygiene
    Hygiene Autism
    I Am Sorry
    I Am You
    Idioms
    Include
    Inclusion
    Inside Out
    Instagram
    Invisible
    IPhone
    It Takes A Village
    John Elder Robison
    Judgement
    Julia Muppet
    Kate Upton
    Kisses
    Language
    Left Out
    Legacy Of Autism
    Letter To Me
    Letter To My Son
    Lifeguard
    Limited Diet
    Listen To Your Heart
    Literal Thinking
    Loch Ness Monster
    Loving A Child With Autism
    Matthew McConaughey
    Minecraft
    Minecraft Autism
    Moms
    Mother's Day
    Mothers Day
    Mothers Disabled Children
    Mothers Love
    Mothers Of Children With Autism
    Music
    Musical Gift
    Music Autism
    Myths About Autism
    Neurotribes
    New Clothes
    New Years
    Not Alone
    Not Less
    Parenting
    Peanut Gallery
    People Magazine
    Peter Brady Voice Change
    Pets
    Piano
    Placebo Effect
    Play
    Pointing
    Police
    Pool
    Proud To Stand Out
    Read Across America
    Relief Pitcher
    Remorse
    Risks
    Rituals
    Roar
    Routines
    Same Old Song And Dance
    School
    Scripting
    Sensory
    Sesame Street
    Sharing Interests
    Sharks
    Showers
    Showing
    Shrek
    Siblings
    Singing
    Small Talk
    Social
    Social Circles
    Social Communication Disorder
    Social Media
    Social Skills
    Speech
    Stereotypes
    Steve Silberman
    Stickers
    Summer
    Summer Camps Autism
    Support
    Surfers Healing
    Talk The Talk
    #TBT
    Teacher
    Teachers
    Team
    Temple Grandin
    Thankful
    Thanksgiving
    The AWEnesty Of Autism
    The A Word
    #thedress
    The Jeffersons
    The Old Me
    The Outsiders
    Throwback Thursday
    To Tell Or Not To Tell
    Touch
    Trick Or Treat
    Trying To Understand
    Unexpected
    Vacations And Autism
    Vacations And Autism
    Video Games
    Walk The Walk
    Walter White
    Weather
    Wheaties
    Wine
    Wishes
    Wizard Of Oz
    Words
    World Autism Awareness Day
    Zombies

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.