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10 Things I've Learned Loving a Child With Autism

9/8/2016

10 Comments

 
This list could be endless. This list could go on for days and days. This list is comprised of only 10 things because I know, we are a fast paced society who likes short lists. Really, really short lists. So here it is, short, sweet and begging for about 200 more things I've learned loving a child with autism:

  1. Experts know a lot about autism, I know a lot about my child. Autism is not a one size fits all diagnosis, therefore, neither are the various supports and therapies available. If it doesn't look like it fits, it probably doesn't, try something else on for size.
  2. Never say "never" and never believe "never". Ever. My son loves proving that "never" should NEVER be part of his vocabulary or mine.
  3. My son has empathy, he feels the emotions of others. In fact, I believe my son "feels" more than most neurotypical people, but, how he shows his emotions may look different. "Different" does not mean absent.
  4. Most people need educated about autism. The stares, the comments and the unsolicited advice is typically a result of ignorance. I can spend time being offended by the ignorance of others and counting in my head the various ways I could slap them, or I can educate them so the next autistic individual they encounter is better understood. I have chosen to educate and not be charged with assault.
  5. No, he will not "eat when he is hungry". My son has a very specific and limited diet as a result of his sensory sensitivities and his need for routine. It doesn't matter how good Grandma's famous mac and cheese is, it's not going to change his needs, so I won't ever test this theory.
  6. His time, his way. All the wasted time I spent agonizing over his delays or watching other kids wondering if, or when, my son would ever catch up was so pointless. My son always gets it, in his time, in his way.
  7. I worried so much about my future son that there were times I missed my "present son". I would give anything for a do over, to see the boy who was standing in front of me rather than focus and obsess over the boy who was yet to come.
  8. All those scripts, all those echoes and imitations, all those times I said to my son, "I don't want to hear so and so's voice, I want to hear YOU". Unfortunately for me, it was my son talking, I just wasn't listening.
  9. My child is not broken, he does not need to be fixed. He needs to be accepted, understood and loved. And trust me, he is.
  10. Autism is a journey and if you spend too much time watching others traveling a different road, you will miss many wondrous moments on the road before you.
  11. Yeah, I know the title says 10 things, but, I'm slipping in one more. Some days understanding a child with autism is hard, but, loving them is not.
Picture
Loving him comes as easy as breathing.
10 Comments
Julie
9/8/2016 03:47:56 pm

I've only read a few of your blogs but you hit the nail on the head every time. It's so refreshing when someone else "gets it" so completely!

Reply
Kate link
9/10/2016 07:20:02 am

Thanks Julie and it's so true...those who "get it" really, really get it!

Reply
paula
9/9/2016 06:20:14 am

This was great to read! It makes me feel better about things. My son is young and I love every minute I send with him. He is a love and a joy and the best little/big brother to his siblings. Thank you so much for posting this

Reply
Rachael
9/10/2016 04:43:08 am

This really helped me to understand now I'm doing my own support group all information is useful

Reply
Nyx Sanguino link
9/10/2016 06:14:34 am

True!! My son has autism and I know what you mean! People do not understand him that make me mad and sad! Yesterday a young man called I was a terrible mother because I didn't know how to educate my child, I explained to the ignorant idiot that he was autistic and all what he said was I was giving excuses for no do it my job as a mother.

Reply
Kate link
9/10/2016 07:22:19 am

I'm sorry for the ignorance of others Nyx. It's hard to shut out such ignorance, but, I have learned that educating is the best way to end such ignorance, but, even then, some people will never learn. I'm sure your son knows how much you love him and in the end THAT is what matters most. Hang in there!!

Reply
Leah mercauto
9/10/2016 07:40:58 pm

Thank you. Thank you so much for putting into words what I so often cannot. My son is autism and has been diagnosed with hypotonia and hyperkinesis as well and .. Your so right. About all of it. So thank you. i wish everyone could see this. So that maybe my son could grow up in a world where he isn't treated like an anomaly but instead as a gift. Mothers like you are what's going to make this happen. Parents to choose to speak up for their families and children and let the world know. Thank you so much.

Reply
Papaguinea
9/12/2016 11:06:00 pm

I love 6 and 8. (He gets it in HIS time, HIS way) and yes it WAS your son, talking to and with you.

PS I like your title - the AWE of Autism which I read as the majesty and wonder of autism.

Reply
Monica handley
9/13/2016 09:37:09 am

Everything you have written is my life almost to a T. Except my the special boy is 16. Thanks for some afternoon tears and keep up the good work💙💙💙💙💙

Reply
Shannon
1/5/2017 10:53:31 pm

This..this was a belated "Christmas miracle!" I applaud your honest accounts..you stay strong. God bless you always n forever. U already are blessed!!

Reply



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