All content on this website is copyrighted and may not be shared or copied without the author's permission
The AWEnesty of Autism
  • Blog
  • Contact Me
  • About Us
  • AWEnest Advocacy

Believe

12/23/2013

1 Comment

 
Picture
We are told, of that first Christmas so long ago, that the Three Wise Men traveled miles and miles from the east following a star to find the baby Jesus. There was no proof that this baby was the Son of God, or proof that the star they followed would lead them to the baby, but the Wise Men wrapped the first gifts of Christmas, packed their camels and off they went (Can you imagine how uncomfortable that trip must have been? As the youngest of five girls, I always had to sit on "the hump" in the car and even for a short trip, it was not pleasant.). Throwing comfort aside, the Wise Men traveled a great distance to meet this baby that was prophesized to them. This baby that was foretold to the Wise Men would be different than any baby before him or any baby since. The Wise Men had no proof, they had no scientific data, no laboratory evidence, no DNA to prove a virgin birth and no GPS. Nope, the Wise Men went to Bethlehem, not because they had empirical evidence, but, because they believed.

Picture
According to Webster, to believe is to "accept as true or real; to have faith, confidence or trust". Maybe it was easier to believe back in Biblical times. There was no Google, no data at the tip of the Wise Men's fingers to test their belief, no Twitter to tweet their belief only to have others re-tweet, comment, and denounce their belief. The Christmas season is immersed in the ability to believe. To believe in the birth of Jesus, to believe in Santa Claus, to believe in flying reindeer, to believe in a talking snowman, to believe in a magical train to the North Pole. Even to believe in the good of mankind (Wow, with all the negative social media and news at our fingertips, believing in the Grinch might be easier than believing in mankind).

Picture
Most of the Christmas television shows and movies are designed to make children believe. To believe that Santa can travel the globe in 24 hours, or that a flying red-nosed reindeer can save Christmas or that a Grinch's heart can grow three sizes in one day. The irony is, most children do believe. It is us grown ups who need convincing (which is evident by my smug retort at the goodness of mankind). Children don't need proof, they don't need empirical evidence to convince them that Christmas magic is possible, because children don't believe with their minds, they believe with their hearts. And that's why we adults lose our ability to believe somewhere along the way. We grown ups become as cynical and tarnished as old, forgotten Christmas ornaments. Typically, the only cure for our adult cynicism is to believe like a child, and sometimes, it is to believe in a child.

PictureRudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer
One of my all time favorite Christmas shows is, without a doubt, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. It is a timeless classic, that I have loved since childhood. I love the show even more today, for what it represents....that being different is not a bad thing, in fact, being different might just make you a hero. Rudolph's differences, and the unwillingness of others to accept his differences, lead him to run away from people who all seemed "the same". Rudolph hoped to find a place where he would fit in, but alas, even on the Island of Misfit Toys, Rudolph couldn't blend because, although different than all the other reindeer, Rudolph was not a toy. Yes, even among misfits, Rudolph and his equally different elf friend Herme, were misfits. Although Rudolph may have not found his place on The Island of Misfit Toys, he believed that children in the world had enough love in their hearts to love toys that were "different", even a Charlie in the Box or a squirt gun that shoots jelly. Once Rudolph discovered his difference could make a difference he rescued the misfit toys, knowing full well, children would believe even misfit toys deserve to be loved.

Picture
When Ryan was younger, the innocence and the ability to believe, made children unaware of his differences which made fitting in and being accepted much easier. Kids believed Ryan was just like them, no ASD, no quirky traits, just a quiet, sometimes angry little guy, who kept to himself. As kids got bigger, Ryan's differences became bigger too and it was harder for kids to accept and understand  his differences. More and more frequently Ryan, felt like he belonged on The Island of Misfit Toys. A safe, accepting island where Ryan felt like he belonged with other kids more like him. I believe, these kids don't need to jump on the first iceberg that floats by to escape a world filled with sameness, these kids need a misfit reindeer...or a loving, somewhat neurotic mom, to believe in them.

All the Christmas shows have a belief element to them, but what they also have, that often goes unnoticed, is the protagonist of the story, finds someone who believes in him, before he is able to believe in himself. Think about it, Rudolph had Herme, the Grinch had Cindy Lou Who, Frosty had Karen, and George Bailey had Clarence the Guardian Angel. Even Ebenezer Scrooge's old partner, Jacob Marley, believed enough in Scrooge that he carried his heaven chains for the netherworld and haunted Scrooge one Christmas Eve in an effort to save him. Once these "misfits" had someone believe in them, they could finally believe in themselves. I wish I would have picked up on this story line many, many Christmases ago.

Picture
I admit, like the kid in the Polar Express, there have been times over the years that I was "a doubter". After spending so much time worrying about Ryan's future, there were times I was missing his present. My fear from all things Google, often impaired my ability to believe. However, it was Ryan who helped me believe, who helped me see past my own fears, who helped me to understand, that just like Rudolph and the Misfit Toys, having someone believe in you, differences and all, makes an uncertain future, as bright as a shiny, red nose. It took an ASD diagnosis, "accidentally" pushing Denial off Santa's sleigh, and watching my boy continue to overcome obstacles to make me believe like a child on Christmas morning. I still worry, I still have moments of doubt, but, those moments melt away faster than Frosty in a greenhouse, as my Ryan, with his uncanny ability to overcome, makes me believe.

Picture
I'm sure occasionally Ryan would still love to jump on an iceberg and find an Island of Misfits, an island filled with kids who are just like him, but, I think most days, Ryan is happy being just who he is and he believes in himself. Unlike Rudolph, who had to save Christmas to get people to believe in him, Ryan has always had a group of believers. Whether it's been a teacher who saw past his different style of learning and adapted her way of teaching, or a piano teacher who saw past his anxiety to the talent hidden behind the fear, or the chorale teacher who heard the beautiful voice behind the concern of trying something new. Or a mother, who although scared, worried and initially heartbroken, saw through the label, through the differences, through the scary internet descriptions, to the boy who hid behind the differences....the boy whose uniqueness is not less, it is AWEsome.

Picture
The ability to believe, may not give you statistical certainty that a man in a red suit is the mother of all toy bearers, or that a red nosed reindeer once saved Christmas, or that a baby born thousands of years ago was different than any baby before or after him, because believing is not a number, a piece of evidence or a logical explanation. Believing is a feeling....a feeling inside your heart. So, no matter what my eyes may see on the internet, no matter what my ears my hear from professionals and no matter what my brain may obsess and internalize, it is my heart that I must trust. For it is the love inside my heart that gives me faith in my son, and  strengthens my ability to believe that Ryan's differences make him as unique and outstanding as a red nosed reindeer, not a misfit toy on a frozen, deserted island.

Although my uniquely amazing boy may not save Christmas, he has found a way to save me. Ryan has saved me from believing in a world where everyone should look the same, act the same, and be the same. A boring world where I once believed it was so important to "fit in". A world that once upon a time, there would have been no place for different, no place for him. I believe that the world will continue to get better at accepting different, and I believe that one day the world will believe, like me, "different, not less". I believe in Christmas magic, I believe in that exceptional birth so long ago, and I believe in my son. And because I believe in Ryan, he believes in himself, and that my friends is the difference between canceling Christmas and using our differences to light the way.

I hope that not only at Christmas time, but, each and every day, you believe.
1 Comment
Nanmcgraw link
12/23/2013 08:32:47 pm

Kathy, this is wonderful! You are such a good writer & an even better Mom! I love the video! Merr Christmas to you all!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    The Mighty Contributor

       Author

    Picture
    Keeping it real, raw, and AWEnest while laughing, loving and living in our world 
    touched by Autism.
    If you would like to subscribe to this blog ...

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Definition of Awe:
    "a mixed emotion of
    reverence, respect, dread and wonder inspired by authority, genius, great
    beauty, sublimity or might." Yep, someone should have consulted a mom 
    before
    spelling AWEtism.

    Archives

    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Categories

    All
    A Blink Of An Eye
    Acceptance
    Advocates
    Aestivation
    Alone
    ASD
    ASD
    ASD And Disney
    ASD Empathy
    Asd Love
    Atypical
    Austin Powers
    Autism
    Autism Acceptance
    Autism Adults
    Autism And Alone
    Autism And Disney
    Autism And Emotions
    Autism And Fevers
    Autism And Field Trips
    Autism And Friends
    Autism And Homework
    Autism And Hope
    Autism And Lonely
    Autism And Media
    Autism And Police Interaction
    Autism Awareness
    Autism Awareness 2016
    Autism Brothers
    Autism Emotions
    Autism Empathy
    Autism Feelings
    Autism Friends
    Autism Idioms
    Autism Journey
    Autism Lessons
    Autism Love
    Autism Meltdown
    Autism Moms
    Autism Routine
    Autism Routines
    Autism Self Advocacy
    Autism Self-Awareness
    Autism Siblings
    Autism Speaks
    Autism Spectrum Disorders
    Autism Swimming
    Autism Tour Guide
    Autistic Enough
    Awe Inspiring
    Awe-inspiring
    Back To School
    Baseball
    Beach
    Beauty
    Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
    Big
    Black And White Thinking
    Brady Bunch
    Bravery
    Breaking Bad
    Bridge Over Troubled Water
    Bugs
    Bullying
    Champion
    Change
    Change Of Heart
    Changes
    Chatty Cathy Doll
    Childhood
    Christmas
    Clothes And Autism
    Clueless
    College
    Communicating
    Communication Skills
    Comparing Disabilities
    Confidence
    Conscious Uncoupling
    Creepers
    Criticsm
    Day Of Pampering
    Death And Dying
    Denial
    Diet
    Differences
    Different
    Different Not Less
    Disability
    Disney World
    Donkey
    Donuts
    Dr. Seuss
    Early Bird Gets The Worm
    Eddie Murphy
    Ed Sheeran
    Educators
    Emily Dickinson
    Emoji
    Estivation
    Facebook
    Facial Cues
    Fear Of Santa
    Fears
    Fifty Shades Of Grey
    First
    Flags Of Autism
    Friends
    Gifts
    Groundhog Day
    Growing Up
    Guest Blogger
    Hades
    Halloween
    Happy
    He Is There
    Helicoptoring
    He Loves Me
    He Loves Me Not
    History Of Autism
    Holidays And Autism
    Homecoming
    Homework
    Honesty
    Hope
    Hovering
    Hygiene
    Hygiene Autism
    I Am Sorry
    I Am You
    Idioms
    Include
    Inclusion
    Inside Out
    Instagram
    Invisible
    IPhone
    It Takes A Village
    John Elder Robison
    Judgement
    Julia Muppet
    Kate Upton
    Kisses
    Language
    Left Out
    Legacy Of Autism
    Letter To Me
    Letter To My Son
    Lifeguard
    Limited Diet
    Listen To Your Heart
    Literal Thinking
    Loch Ness Monster
    Loving A Child With Autism
    Matthew McConaughey
    Minecraft
    Minecraft Autism
    Moms
    Mother's Day
    Mothers Day
    Mothers Disabled Children
    Mothers Love
    Mothers Of Children With Autism
    Music
    Musical Gift
    Music Autism
    Myths About Autism
    Neurotribes
    New Clothes
    New Years
    Not Alone
    Not Less
    Parenting
    Peanut Gallery
    People Magazine
    Peter Brady Voice Change
    Pets
    Piano
    Placebo Effect
    Play
    Pointing
    Police
    Pool
    Proud To Stand Out
    Read Across America
    Relief Pitcher
    Remorse
    Risks
    Rituals
    Roar
    Routines
    Same Old Song And Dance
    School
    Scripting
    Sensory
    Sesame Street
    Sharing Interests
    Sharks
    Showers
    Showing
    Shrek
    Siblings
    Singing
    Small Talk
    Social
    Social Circles
    Social Communication Disorder
    Social Media
    Social Skills
    Speech
    Stereotypes
    Steve Silberman
    Stickers
    Summer
    Summer Camps Autism
    Support
    Surfers Healing
    Talk The Talk
    #TBT
    Teacher
    Teachers
    Team
    Temple Grandin
    Thankful
    Thanksgiving
    The AWEnesty Of Autism
    The A Word
    #thedress
    The Jeffersons
    The Old Me
    The Outsiders
    Throwback Thursday
    To Tell Or Not To Tell
    Touch
    Trick Or Treat
    Trying To Understand
    Unexpected
    Vacations And Autism
    Vacations And Autism
    Video Games
    Walk The Walk
    Walter White
    Weather
    Wheaties
    Wine
    Wishes
    Wizard Of Oz
    Words
    World Autism Awareness Day
    Zombies

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.