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Celebrities, STAY IN LANE

7/25/2013

3 Comments

 
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"PICK A LANE" we have all screamed out our car window when the person in front of us can't decide which lane suits them best, or heaven forbid, thinks their destination is much more vital than our own. You've seen these drivers and chances are, if you have a truck driver mouth like me and an itchy middle finger, you've let these inconsiderate drivers know just how you feel about their lane hopping. These lane changers may slowly drift into a lane having little to no effect on other drivers, or some people may abruptly change lanes with little to no thought of how this abrupt change could cause a chain reaction to all those following them. Yep, some of these lane changers we only see on the road, others seem to pop up in various lanes of life, effecting others. both in good ways and bad. Frequently, these road hogs, pop up in my People Magazine right next to the perfectly pregnant Kate Middleton (could she be an perkier pregnant?) and ruin my perfectly good lunch.

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Celebrities are famous (pun intended) for "lane changing" off the highway. If they win an Oscar, they want a Grammy. If they win a Grammy, they want an Oscar. Sadly, many celebrities realize too late that they should have stayed in their original lane as the new lane is an embarrassingly dead end with the critics reviews to prove it. "PICK A LANE" celebrities because very few of you are the JT triple threat....sing, dance and act (well, sort of). Just like the loose cannon drivers, sometimes I think celebrities need to pick a lane and stick with it. Would you want John Travolta, wearing his Saturday Night Fever white suit sans pilot wings and stripes flying your plane in a severe thunderstorm with wind shear? What if Olivia Newton John was in first class wearing her black hot pants singing, "Your the One That I Want"? When John Travolta switched lanes from actor to pilot was he fully trained on blocking out hot chicks in hot pants? Wouldn't you prefer a seasoned pilot like Chesley "Sulley" Sullenberger who spent his entire career sticking to the same lane, living and breathing flying, taking off and landing safely in open water to pilot your plane? I bet "Sulley" wouldn't let Sandy toy with his landings. Pick a lane Danny Zuko!

Celebrities have the perfect platform for various causes and they are notorious for switching lanes. And thanks to those of us non-celebrities who are so enamored with them, these celebrity lane hoppers forget which lane they really belong in and sometimes it can be disastrous (think The Rock as The Tooth Fairy). Celebrities live a high profile life so they are in the perfect position to raise awareness and bring attention to various platforms to pitiful folks like myself who anxiously wait every Thursday for my beloved mailman to show up with People Magazine. Some celebrity lane changers have saved lives. Katie Couric bravely had her colonoscopy televised on The Today Show to help remove the embarrassing stigma of this ultra invasive, somewhat embarrassing, but life saving procedure. No doubt, Katie's courage and her colon has saved countless lives when she chose to switch lanes from morning talk show host to colon cancer advocate. Katie Couric is a courteous driver and looks at both her rear view and side view mirrors before switching lanes.
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Some celebrities stir up controversy when changing lanes. They may believe that they have checked all the mirrors while slowly picking a new lane, but little did they know the impact a slight side scrape from their high end Mercedes can have on an average Toyota sedan. Perfect example....Jenny McCarthy. Ahhhh, yes, now you know where this lane is going. Jenny McCarthy has become a big time lane changer, a total road hog. Playboy Playmate, actress, author and very well known autism advocate. Love her or hate her, believe her vaccine theory and that her son has been "cured" of autism or don't, but regardless of your opinion of her, Jenny McCarthy has certainly made an impact on autism awareness. And with her announcement of her new lane switch, co-host on the The View, social media sites were blowing up last week. Those who hate Jenny McCarthy and discredit her vaccination view, feel this new lane will cause even more damage to those poor Toyota sedans just sitting in their lane minding their own business wondering if their choices have been enough. After all, Jenny McCarthy has (had) a son with autism, she dated Jim Carrey, she marched on Washington to advocate for safer childhood vaccinations and she's famous! Why wouldn't we all listen to her?

Jenny McCarthy is very outspoken in her belief that her son's autism was caused by childhood vaccinations. She is a huge proponent of safer vaccinations for kids, marching on Washington to try and make a difference. Depending on which lane you are traveling in, depends on your opinion of her high profile, outspoken views. Once when I asked a doctor about the safety of vaccines for Emma, the doctor rolled his eyes and told me that he thought Jenny McCarthy should be imprisoned for using her celebrity platform to strike fear in parents hearts about vaccinations and increasing childhood diseases that a decade ago were on the decline. (Needless to say he is not a fan. I'm not sure how he feels about her previous "work" in other lanes). This doctor said the most important thing he does in his practice is to save children's lives by vaccinating them. I admit it, the vaccine thing freaked me out and yes, some of that had to do with reading about the famous (or infamous) Jenny McCarthy in People Magazine.  

Yes, I vaccinated Ryan and yes he got a bump on his leg with each and every vaccine. Does that make me a monster? Did my continuing the vaccines cause Ryan's autism? How was I to know? I'm not an autism researcher or a doctor, I'm just cruising in the Mom Lane with all the other moms who have traveled this same lane for years and always vaccinated their kids. I  AWEnestly was freaked out enough by Jenny McCarthy and others who shared her view in terms of the alleged vaccine autism link, that I waited to vaccinate Emma until she was three. That was right about the time I watched an episode of Private Practice where a child died from the measles because the mother feared vaccinating him due to her older son's autism diagnosis. Seriously? Where was the Botox laden, wrinkle free face celebrity touting the importance of vaccinations in my People Magazine?  After watching that child actor succumb to measles on a made up television show with wrinkle free, beautiful celebrities, I was even more freaked out that I hadn't vaccinated Emma, so I immediately called the pediatrician's office the next morning and made an appointment to got Emma the suspect MMR. Then for weeks, I watched Emma's every move like a hawk, terrified she would disappear. Emma is perfect, happy and healthy and I have no idea if waiting to vaccinate her did that or not.
All I know is a complete and total stranger who once bared it all as a Playboy Centerfold, switched lanes and totally sideswiped this average, freaked out Toyota.
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It's hard to believe that a high profile celebrity can have such an impact when they switch lanes to autism advocate. Why do any of us care what a former Playboy pinup, actress, actor, athlete or rock star have to say about ASD? Besides their notoriety for their celebrated chosen lane, do they really know more than say, an autism researcher, a neurologist, a developmental pediatrician or someone living with an ASD? I had the privilege, and I do mean privilege, of sharing a dinner table with John Elder Robison and his wife, Maripat last weekend. After the first five minutes of hearing Mr. Robison speak, I realized he is the rock star celebrity we parents loving a child with an ASD should be listening to. John Elder Robison wrote the book, "Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's". This book was the first book I read that actually gave me a glimpse into the working of Ryan's mind and it AWEnestly opened my eyes and my heart permanently.  Mr. Robison changed lanes numerous times in his life. He went from pyro-technic whiz kid designing exploding guitars for Ace Frehley of Kiss, to designing some of the first electronic toys (remember Simon and Speak and Spell?) to his current career of mechanical guru for some of the highest end cars ever produced. Mr. Robison changed lanes several times. This lane changing was not because he was rich and famous, but because before Mr. Robison knew he had Asperger's Syndrome, he felt he was "defective" and struggled to find the right lane where he belonged. John Elder Robison's lane changing was a means of surviving a world that he did not understand and that did not understand him. Mr. Robison did not discuss what caused his autism or what treatments he believed would "cure" him. Instead, he talked of the gifts autism has given him and swore that he wouldn't be in his chosen lane today if it weren't for his autism. John Elder Robison does not think his Asperger's Syndrome is a disability, he believes it is a different ability. Where was this man 7 years ago when I needed him, not fake boobed, Playmate, Jenny McCarthy?

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I realize that Ryan and most kids with an Autism Spectrum Disorder will not be as celebrated as John Elder Robison and Temple Grandin, but that does not make each and every success any less important. I would much prefer to see John Elder Robison or some other adult living with ASD co-hosting The View this fall, because given the right platform, they could educate us neurotypicals more than an awards banquet room filled with celebrities. Chances are that won't happen because the lights of the studio would be bright, the clapping from the audience would be loud and quite frankly, many people with an ASD don't give a sh** what we neurotypicals think of them in the first place and don't feel a need to explain themselves on live television. As a mom who is trying to understand her son, I am grateful for the John Elder Robisons of the world, willing to take the time to give us a glimpse into what it is like to live with autism. I wish that someone would have come along and given John Elder Robison's mother the gift he has given to mothers loving and parenting a child with autism today, so that Mr. Robison wouldn't have spent 5 seconds feeling "defective".  But who knows, without Mr. Robison's struggles, his victories and his defeats and the quest for his true lane, maybe Mr. Robison would not be the celebrity he is today.  Without these true celebrities, sharing their struggles, their successes and their ability to find the perfect lane, the misunderstood clues of autism would still be light years over the horizon.

Ryan could care less about any of the Jenny McCarthys of the world, or the John Elder Robisons for that matter. After all, they are not the ones making his meatless cheeseburgers, finding him the softest Hollister tshirts and returning the sugar free Jello Vanilla pudding for the "right one". This old Toyota who picked the "Mom Lane" over 15 years ago, is reliable, safe, and has just enough bells and whistles to get everyone where they need to go with as little damage as possible. And although some may believe I have hopped lanes from gun toting juvenile probation officer mother to autism blogger, I am not marching on Washington proclaiming that going peri-menopausal crazy on your kid in order to get him to wear the new shirt he promised he would wear, will be effective for every child with an ASD,  I'm just AWEnestly, and somewhat guiltily, admitting that it works for us.

Since picking the Mom Lane all those years ago, I have tried not to drift into other lanes. I have no idea if vaccines, toxins in the environment, the feta cheese from Greek salads I ate or the flu shot I received before knowing I was pregnant caused my son's AWEtism, because I don't have the research experience, the medical know how or the time to waste on how or why it happened. I'm too busy making sure I am doing what is best for Ryan in spite of what the latest and greatest treatments, therapies, etc the celebrities of Autism Advocates are shouting from their Mercedes sun roof. I know that most of us driving our Toyotas and Hondas will never travel in the same lane as the Jenny McCarthy's of the world, so chances are, we will not be given a platform to promote our belief that children and adults with autism do not need their own "special" lane, they just need to find the lane that fits them, and regardless of what lane we are in, or what car we drive, we need to give these people living with an ASD the space on the road to do so.

Autism Spectrum Disorders do not discriminate. They effect the rich and the poor, the famous and the average Joes. With 1 in 54 boys receiving an ASD, and with a 1 in 11,500, chance of winning an Academy Award, there are a lot more Toyotas chugging along the highway than there are Mercedes' lane hoppers. Even though the Toyotas do not have all the bells and whistles and safety features of a Mercedes, they are reliable, safe, and people depend on them. While traveling down the road, you may occasionally glimpse the shiny, beautiful Mercedes and all the perks that having one entails, and just for a second, you might picture yourself behind the wheel in THAT lane, but, keep in mind, that those driving the Mercedes are not the mechanical or design experts who understand the ins and outs of the vehicle. Just because someone has been fortunate enough to drive the Mercedes does not make them an expert and we Toyota drivers must keep in mind that what works for a Mercedes does not always work for a Toyota and this should not ever make us feel less.

Whether you have been traveling in your lane for quite some time, or this lane is brand new to you, keep in mind that you know the occupants of your car better than any lane changing celebrity in their Mercedes, Ferrari or Jag. So unless a celebrity is touting the latest shoe trend for fall on the page of your People Magazine take what they have to say with a grain of salt, mumble, "Pick a lane!" and flip the page. Then go and find a real celebrity, one who has suffered scrapes, dings and dents while searching for the lane where they eventually found happiness, contentment and a sense of belonging. This celebrity may not be on the cover of People Magazine, have 3.2 million followers on Twitter, or be able to find the words to share their success with you, but their smile, their joy, and their success gives you hope that one day, your child will find his lane, and he won't care who is in front of him or who is behind him, as long as someone he loves is beside him.
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One celebrity Ryan got excited about.
3 Comments
Leigh
8/1/2013 07:01:29 am

I read that book, Look Me in the Eyes. It was a fascinating read. I bet it was just as so meeting John in person. I loved your blog. How easy it is to get caught up in a lane changer without really checking it out for ourselves!

Reply
Jeanne
9/8/2013 03:33:38 am

Jenny McCarthy makes me feisty, too :-P I recognize that my experiences are much different -- I am an educator who at times works with children with autism, not a parent who lives with a child with autism -- but I have never really understood the "disability" aspect of as much as just understanding and processing things differently. One of the best feelings I have EVER had as an educator is connecting with a child who sees things differently and feeling so privileged to have been invited into his/her world and seeing things in a whole new way. As I said, I know my position is different, and I realize there are varying degrees of functionality among those with autism, but hearing people talk about trying to "cure" it bothers me. I feel like "curing" them means there's something wrong, and how can people being different and amazing be wrong? While I would not wish the potential of additional struggles of those with autism on anyone, I would never want to take all of those pieces of awesomeness away anyone, either.

Reply
Koichi Ito
12/12/2013 10:25:04 pm

Jenny McCarthy is great on the View. Someday autism could be cured?

Reply



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