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When Worlds Collide

7/24/2014

4 Comments

 
PictureGeorge Clooney in Gravity. Warner Bros Film
As my husband and I watched Gravity this past weekend, I wondered why I was subjected myself to the terrors of space a second time, since after watching George Clooney, who can even make a space suit look sexy, float off into space nearly killed me the first time I watched it, why in the world was I watching such a horror happen again? I mean, losing George briefly to former pro-wrestler Stacy Keibler was hard enough to take, watching him drift off into space alone...without me....twice, well, that's more than any woman should have to bear.

Besides losing George to the infinite vastness of space, Gravity was tough for me to watch. I have issues with the whole running out of oxygen, freezing to death, and possibly burning up while entering the atmosphere, type conditions. I know there are brave astronauts and scientists who risk the dangers of space due in part for the betterment of mankind, and due in part because it really makes them look good on match.com, and I say, kudos to them. Lord knows we sure are doing a number on this world so someone, yes, even if it means sacrificing George, better find us a new world fast.

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Along with these super smart rocket scientists, there are even some dumb, adventure seeking civilians ready to board the Virgin Galactic Space Shuttle for a mere $200,000 in order to experience the rush of leaving the Earth's atmosphere for a round trip ticket to space (and hopefully a better outcome than poor George). AWEnestly, for me, the only thing scarier than blasting off from this world in search of a new world in the oxygen-less, freezing cold, meteor ridden, vastness of space, would be blasting off this world with The Biebs in a drooping butt spacesuit strapped into the seat next to me.

Call me a scaredy cat, a cissy, a wus or boring, but, there is no way I'd want to leave the world that I have become so accustomed to, a world with plenty of oxygen, AC, heat, and Oreos that don't float away when you try to dip them in milk that also floats away, for a world that is confusing, different, scary and hard to navigate. Especially, if I had Bieber leading the way. 

Even if I didn't burn up, freeze to death or run out of air, but, landed safely in a new world, what if upon my arrival, no one understood me? What if no one tried to understand the world I came from in order to make me feel safe, happy and at home? What if no one cared enough to learn about my world and all they wanted was for me to assimilate to their world, so I wouldn't look or act so different from the local natives? Sometimes, it just feels safer and easier to stay in my own world, and I would bet a $200,000 First Class ticket to space, that Ryan feels exactly the same way.

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I have to be AWEnest folks, there are days, ok, fine, weeks, where I feel like it's safer, easier and better to stay in my world, so I constantly suit Ryan up and do my best to shuttle him into my world, while often forgetting to put on my spacesuit and enter his. Ryan often fights this ride, because to him, his world is far superior and much easier to navigate than mine.

This summer, more so than any other time, it has felt like Ryan and I have been living in two different worlds. So, in order to close the space between our two worlds, I have been busting my butt to strap Ryan into a space shuttle and rocket him into my world, with very little regard to what he is leaving behind in his world.

I rationalize these space shuttling decisions by reminding myself that my neurotypical world is where most people live and where most people are comfortable. After all, isn't my world the acceptable ideal? A world where people socialize, communicate and interact with one another to make a happier, productive world. Not a solitary world, where video games, television shows, silence and the oh, so great Steve from Minecraft, is preferred over all other lifeforms?

I have spent so much time and energy telling Ryan to "check back in", "turn off the game", "go outside and play", "come to the store with me", and yes, even, "Earth to Ryan", yet, I have spent very little time or energy visiting his world and finding out what is so life sustaining for him there. After nearly burning Ryan up, time and time again, while trying to pull him into my orbit, I decided it was time for this scaredy cat girl to break out of the comforts of my world and join Ryan in his. Turns out, Ryan's world wasn't so different from mine, and the bonus was, I didn't even need a spacesuit.

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Ryan was in his world, in his bedroom to be more specific, playing Minecraft on the laptop with his iPod Touch right next to it playing some type of music. And for a change, I did not try and force Ryan into leaving his world and coming to visit me in mine, instead, I sat down next to him and asked Ryan what made his world so special. This opened a portal into his world he very rarely shares with me, or with anyone, because most people, including his guilt ridden mother, are too busy trying to close that portal in order for him to join a world where it is often cold and the air feels so thin that it makes it hard for my beautiful boy to breath.

After propping Ryan's portal open, and spending time in his world, it turns out, that Ryan's world is not so different from mine. He was listening to Minecraft parody songs on his Ipod Touch while snuffing out creepers on Minecraft. Not so different than me listening to my latest playlist while snuffing out dust bunnies with the vacuum cleaner. These songs he was listening to, which are so unfamiliar in my world, are all parodies of chart topping songs that are very familiar in my world thanks to Pandora, Sirius, and iTunes Radio. I suggested that we play Ryan's music on the bluetooth speaker in my room so we could really jam to it. Ryan beamed at the idea.

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As the first chords of Moves Like Creeper (sorry Maroon 5 it may top Moves Like Jagger) blared out of the speaker, I swear, the sun illuminated my boy and his world in a way I had not witnessed all summer long. Ryan's smile, his joy was palpable as I finally landed on his soil. 

Ryan sang the lyrics to Moves Like Creeper  while I belted out, "I got the mooo-oooo-oooo-oooo-ooo-oves like Jagger". Ryan was so happy while we both sang and danced on my bed that he didn't even criticize my "terrible voice" until at least 15 minutes into our sing off/dance off had begun. As we were singing, dancing, laughing and living together in that moment, I realized that finally both of our worlds had collided, and it was not a cataclysmic event, in fact, it was perfectly AWEsome. This collision has hands down, been the best night of my summer and I am so glad that I finally took the time to see the stars that make his world so bright.

As often as the gravitational pull of my world tries to suck Ryan in, I recognize that I need to occasionally shut down my gravitational field and shoot on over and join Ryan in his world. While there, I must look for ways that both of our worlds can collide with minimal damage to the lifeforms that inhabit our unique, but, strikingly similar worlds. I so frequently ask Ryan to risk his air supply to come to my world, yet, I get so caught up in breathing my own air, sometimes I forget to breath his.

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I understand that the world of autism in many ways is very different than the neurotypical world many of us live on. I also understand that it is important for Ryan to assimilate to my world since that is the standard most inhabitants of this world expect, but, I think it is equally important that those of us who are aliens to the autism world, are respectful and kind, and that we do our best to understand what is so important in a world that differs from our own. We must respect those differences and allows those differences to remain when those living with autism visit our neurotypical world.

If the price of space travel is greatly reduced over the next few decades and I get a little braver, perhaps I will venture out into "the great unknown". If I do, I promise I will not sit next to Bieber, no matter how many trips he has taken before me or if he finally decides to pulls his pants up. 

There is no doubt that it is Ryan I will want beside me since he has become so successful at living in and navigating an unfamiliar world. Ryan has proven that no matter how difficult the terrain may be, how unforgiving the natives are, or how unfamiliar a new world may be, Ryan can adapt, and in the process, he has shown how important it is for others to adapt too. And if there is room on our shuttle, I will save a seat for Tom Hanks, since he survived a deserted island with only a ball named Wilson, and he landed Apollo 13 safely in the South Pacific. Sorry George, you will need to take another shuttle, I just can't trust you to commit. 

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Little sister Emma has found the portal to Ryan's world.
4 Comments
Julie S link
7/25/2014 03:29:47 am

This is wonderful. I agree we make too few trips into their world. A good reminder to stop and smell the roses (or the Oreos). :-) Have a great weekend!

Reply
Maureen Slaven link
7/25/2014 07:43:30 pm

I think you have just opened up a channel of communication for me to one of my (suspected) autistic pupils. So far, this pupil, has resisted all attempts to engage in educational activities, including the computer, with a determination and defiance I have not encountered before. Many thanks for sharing.

Reply
Stefanie Sacks
7/26/2014 12:57:10 am

This is what it like for me an my friends with autism I'm an adult now I still struggle things other may want me to try or think will be awsome I no won't be or could be angizty an sometimes they don't listen to us till it to late an stuff .i allways felt this way growing up everyone thinks they know what fun an while something's are inportnt for use to learn to live in the world .i think activy should be a choice not fouce therhy or becuse every one else thinks it will be a good time

Reply
Sharon Jull
7/28/2014 09:25:07 am

Awesometism - is another word for autism.

Reply



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